irreality

From the “You’ve got to be kidding me” news desk:

The outbreak of swine flu should be renamed “Mexican” influenza in deference to Muslim and Jewish sensitivities over pork, an Israeli health official has said.

Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman said the reference to pigs is offensive to both religions and “we should call this Mexican flu and not swine flu,” he told a news conference at a hospital in central Israel.

Of course, if the world is stupid enough to start calling it “Mexican flu”, I’m sure we’ll see another stupid announcement like this from the Mexican government, or from some Hispanic civil rights organization.

Here’s a clue for you guys – it’s being called “swine flu” because that’s where it originated.  I’m really that sorry your religious sensibilities are offended, please excuse me while I go give a shit.

Not that this will come as a surprise to some people, but these are pretty interesting results.  This also explains what causes that flying / floaty / “subspace” sensation that those receiving stimulation experience.

SPANKING is stressful at first, but it could bring consenting couples closer together. That’s the implication of two studies of hormonal changes associated with sadomasochistic (S&M) activities including spanking, bondage and flogging.

Brad Sagarin at Northern Illinois University in DeKalb and colleagues measured levels of the stress hormone cortisol in 13 men and women at an S&M party in Arizona, before, during and after participating in activities. During S&M scenes, cortisol rose significantly in those receiving stimulation, but dropped back to normal within 40 minutes if the scene went well. There was no change in those inflicting the activity.

At an S&M event in Colorado, testosterone was measured in 45 men and women. It increased significantly in receiving women only. Donatella Marazziti of the University of Pisa, Italy, says the boost may help women cope with the aggressive nature of S&M activities, or that it could be another sign of stress. In both studies, couples who said the party went well also reported increases in relationship closeness.

Of course, more study remains to be done:

Nick Neave, a psychologist at the University of Northumbria, UK, says the results are interesting, but future studies should control for whether participants experienced orgasm, which is associated with reduced stress and an increase in hormones associated with partner-bonding and affection.

But somehow, I doubt he’d have trouble finding people willing to participate!

From the “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is” Department -

A former employee of Cash4Gold weighed in over at Complaintsboard.com with insider information about how the company works.  Not surprisingly, he claims that the entire operation is nothing but a glorified scam, and breaks down the entire process for us.

We do offer a 100% Satisfaction Guarantee or your jewelry returned, BUT THE CATCH IS, that the guarantee is to contact us within 10 DAYS from when your check is DATED. (This begins with the time it took for the accounts payables dept. to ISSUE the check and also including the TRANSIT TIME for you to receive your check in the mail. **** NOTATE THE COMMERCIALS THAT INSINUATE THAT YOU GET YOUR CASH IN 24 HRS.*** If you request (sign) for FAST CASH (direct deposit) you automatically WAIVE your rights to have your items returned, EVEN if you are not satisfied with amount of your deposit.

You generally receive your check around the “7th-10th” business day, AND majority of the time Customers are outraged when they lay eyes on the amount of their check. Some Customer’s even receive a check for 0.01 cents.

We issue low checks just to have you call us back if you are smart enough to realize that you just got scammed. For the smart one’s we are paid to offer u a bonus up to 3x the original amount of your check and you accept. For ex: Sally Smith receives a check for $27.86 for a Rolex watch(which we don’t issue value for), a class ring, a ring with diamond chips, a pair of earrings with emeralds, as well as a few sterling silver pieces, and maybe a few items that were really of no value. Now Sally Smith calls the cust srvc dept, where she speaks to a rep who seems so concerned and will see if she can do better with the amount by speaking to a “SUPERVISOR”. We then place the caller on Mute, and speak to our neighbors or doodle on a sheet, or twiddle with our hair for about 45 seconds, while we are supposedly speaking to our supervisor about Ms. Smith’s complaint. We then come back with an offer to “BUMP UP YOUR MELT DATE or any other lies the cust srvc reps can think of, and offer you a total amount of $53.20 which is a little under double the amount of your original check; in which case if you accept, the cust srvc rep makes a 15.00 bonus off of your transaction. If the customer service rep offers you under triple the amount of your orig check, he/she makes 10.oo in bonuses.

There’s quite a bit more over at the Complaintsboard.com, where our anonymous  former employee goes into further detail about how things work, and 4 pages worth of other posts complaining about Cash4Gold.  It’s well worth the read if you have a few extra moments, and can also be found in a repost at the Comsumerist.com.

But that is not the end of our story – it seems Cash4Gold has been contacting bloggers and offering to  pay for the removal of negative postings.  Rob over at Cockeyed.com was contacted and offered a “few thousand” to take down his negative posts about the company:

Rob,
I work with Cash4Gold on the reputation management. Your article is ranking #3 on their brand term. They would really like to make it worth your while to take it down or make it more positive. They did something similar by joining (OTHER CONSUMER AFFAIRS WEBSITE)’s advocacy program. Is it worth a few thousand to take it down? If not, maybe a donation to your favorite charity is more to your liking?

Feel free to call me anytime to discuss further.

Thanks,
Joe Laratro
President
Tandem Interactive – Trendy Online Marketing Solutions
Hollywood, FL 33020

Amazing.

No, seriously, check it out – Nguyen La Chanh of Switzerland is looking for financial backing so she can start production of her live moss bathroom floor mats.

The mat contains a total of 70 pieces of ball, island and forest moss measuring 2.4in (6cm) each in diameter. It feels soft underfoot and does not smell when it gets damp.  “I think this mat would appeal people who miss a corner of nature in their appartment – perhaps if they live in an urban environment, far from parks and nature areas.  “It’s relaxing, feels lovely and soft under the feet and doesn’t need much care.”

Beginnings